by Laura Sylvester The title of this blog is a quote from a movie called Infinity. It is a favorite of both Rick and I. It also happens to be the single most important lesson Elliot has taught me. Whenever I see parents out in public with their autistic child(ren) and they look ashamed or embarrassed of their kids, it just breaks my heart. It hurts because that was me a few years ago. I can vividly remember the turning point when I decided that doing right by my son - being loving and present with him - was always more important than reacting to the judgments others might be placing on us. I had been struggling with this issue for most Elliot’s life not really aware that there was an alternative to feeling and being imprisoned by it. My hidden belief and behavior system was challenged when I read the book, Son-Rise a Miracle to Believe In. A shift in my thinking began and rock solid change would come when I replaced one way of thinking with another.
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okay okay I know my kid is in his pajamas but it was the morning, kind of. - Laura by Laura Sylvester I have a friend who really likes the idea of getting a dog for her family, especially when she considers it for her son who has apraxia. She has one major hang-up, however, that seems to be the impassable roadblock between her and canine ownership. DOG HAIR.
by Laura Sylvester “Our worst misfortunes never happen, and most miseries lie in anticipation.” I have PLAS. I have had it as long as I can remember. Much like Restless Leg Syndrome, Sweaty Palms Syndrome, or Chinese Restaurant Syndrome, I only find this a laughing matter when the condition is inactive, or when it’s considered as a legitimate medical issue, or when I think about all the PLAS pills that could be sold, or when I realize that I can make up a fake disease with the best of ‘em. So, most of the time it’s nuthin’ but good ‘ol fun. My history with PLAS really became most notable when I entered Motherhood and it definitely got worse when Elliot was diagnosed with autism. My PLAS flares up just about anytime I’m getting ready to take a trip that requires any kind of prep and it usually starts about 2-3 hours before leaving the house. However, for our recent trip to Disneyland, my PLAS started 3 DAYS prior to departure. And that really sucked. The general symptoms of PLAS may include, but are not limited to, worrying about being late even if there is no schedule, fear of forgetting to pack/bring something important, and irrational/unsubstantiated fears of things going wrong during the trip itself. In extreme cases, PLAS causes bad dreams and negative daytime fantasies (NDFs)
by Laura Sylvester Having lunch today at Islands was a great example of how Orbit and his service vest seem to inspire patience and acceptance in others. Today when the waitress asked Elliot “what’s your dog’s name?” she actually waited patiently while I encouraged him to answer. (Thank God for the Lilo and Stitch movie and the line “His name is....Stitch” and thank goodness we have been repeating it at home for weeks and substituting Orbit’s name.)
by Laura Sylvester A long, long time ago - in a galaxy far, far away… a time when we were all happily married to our college sweethearts and attended very sophisticated dinner parties for yuppie twenty-somethings, a then-husband of one of my best friends made a provocative suggestion to the group; enough so that it remained stuck in my brain until this very day. I remember contemplating at the time that his statement was either genius or the coldest, unemotional calculation regarding human relationships that I had ever heard. Because he is now divorced from our pack, I have emotionally chosen to conclude that it must be the latter. Here it is, “Happiness equals expectations divided by reality”
by Laura Sylvester ![]() For the last couple of months, Elliot has been doing his repetitive yelling of scripts. His favorites are: “No on,” “no watch you hah,” “no blue ribbons,” “no green,” etc. We have tried many avenues to redirect him – we have tried to help, to explain, to ignore, and to acknowledge. You name it we’ve tried it. So far, nothing seems to help. He just continues to repeat the scripts in a very loud stressful tone. Our weekend would revolve around this yelling - a combination of retreat, re-entry, and experimenting with different methods to try to control the yelling. When Sunday afternoon arrived, the best lesson employed would come from the newest member of our pack, Orbit the dog. by Laura Sylvester Our Journey to Orbit Story continued ... It took just about 2 months to here from CCI. One day upon arriving home from HP, Rick met me in the kitchen, “I’ve got bad news” as he pointed to a letter on the refrigerator. “We regret to inform you … We suggest you expose Elliot to as many dogs as possible … Below is a list of alternative service dog organizations in the event you choose to continue your pursuit of a dog for Elliot ...” THAT was the question of the day, wasn’t it? ‘Continue our pursuit?” In this moment my answer was, “no.”
by Laura Sylvester Our Journey to Orbit Story continued ... It takes 2 weeks to find out if you even qualify to apply for a dog with CCI. This is after you fill out an online questionnaire. Lucky for eager me we heard back in one week – HOORAY, step one – success. Columbo comes for a visit. It took me over a week to fill out the application, 11 pages including a detailed description of what Elliot does everyday of the week. Questions about our house, our family, and our life and of course about dogs: Do we have any dogs already in the home? Does Elliot want a service dog? Does Elliot like dogs? I answered questions about his abilities in the areas of Communication, Social, Sensory/Cognitive and Physical/Behavior. It had been years since I filled out such a detailed questionnaire about Elliot’s abilities and disabilities, there was a time when he was newly diagnosed that I remember feeling like I did this type of thing once a week. In addition to the application I had to submit photos of Elliot, our house and yard and each family member. I also had to write one page essay about Elliot and why we think a service dog would benefit him. It was time consuming, but I have to admit it was a labor of love!! I enjoyed every minute of it.
by Laura Sylvester Our Journey to Orbit Story continued ... Last month we had a doggie swim play date at Mark and Nancy Drake’s house. Orbit and Elliot both LOVED swimming in the pool. Unlike Orbit, Columbo and Kashi, the Drake’s dogs, seemed impartial to swimming. But Kashi LOVED playing with Orbit in the grassy area next to the pool. Of course, Orbit loved it too, after all it’s been a long time since Orbit got to play with other dogs!
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